So there you go. One week down and not a lot gained or lost as yet. Funny to think that had we kicked straight in the 15mins straddling 3 qtr time, we would've been on level terms. By the end of the game, that was easily forgotten and rightly so, the end was disappointing.
Much less disappointing was the return of Cousins, the continued ineptitude of the Fowl and Dean Laidley's continued devotion to Cyborg-style delivery of total stupidity.
Anyhoo, on with the rankings, and we start with a surprise...
1(1) Cats - OK, no surprise but it was a close call. Everyone they wanted to play well did. Everything they wanted to happen, happened. Yet by the end of it, they had won a tight game against an understrength opponent. If I was a Cats fan I would be a bit concerned about what it is that the Hawks have that bothers them so much.
2(2) Hawks - A solid first up game with an underdone and less than optimal lineup. Although they didn't rise to number 1, they closed the gap by as much as a team could after a loss.
3(5) B'dogs - A very clinical effort from a hard to pin down team. They had only 3 more scoring shots and won by more than 10 goals. They took every chance and ran away with a good win. I remain probably the only person who rates Brad Johnson as the most annoying player to watch in the AFL. This mincing little plonker is top shelf in talent but there is no bigger knob jockey in the game. Oh yeah - guy it was this little **** that Sandi layed the bump on.
4(8) Adelaide - An excellent win without their premier midfielder. Bonus points for bringing the "is Malthouse gone" talk forward a couple of months. Outstanding work.
5(4) StKilda - Hardly a convincing win against a team due to slide like ice on a glass incline. If the AFL was a beauty comp, St Kilda would be Miss Kebabistan's ugliest sister. There is no team worse to watch, OK 1 but you get my drift.
6(7) Carlton - Mitch Robinson is fun to watch. Chris Judd is as good as there is. Kade Simpson is a massive under-the-radar type. The Chin remains only interested in the goals HE kicks. Nothing else of note.
7(3) Collingdud - Our friend Yeti protested at their previous high rank. He may still complain this week. The early weeks will see plenty of yo-yo work from many teams, I expect these nappy fillers to be one of them.
8(11) Brisbane - Knowing all too well that 15mins and a couple of kids was all that it would take to win this game, thats exactly what they did. Leant nothing aboutthem or the Fanta Pants in the Box.
9(14) Port - A forwardline full of Hobbits and fossils. A backline full of no-names and kids. A midfield full of turn-coats and flakes. A coaches box full of sheeyite. If that form continues all year and these blokes make the 8 I will eat a kilo of chicken salt off Carmen Lawrence's bare butt.
10(10) North - How many people do you reckon get excited when they get a win over Melbourne? All of them exist at North or up the Hwy in WA.
11(12) Essendon - showed a bit in a loss to the Smears. What they showed mostly was that Lloyd is finished as an influence up forward, McPhee is the boy in waiting for the Joel Bowden held mantle of King of meaningless possessions and Jobe Watson is both as good and as bad as we all think he is.
12(9) Freo - Head (J) a worry. Luke a backman. Sandi needs to play angry. Mundy a question mark. Duff still on the improve. Taz did well down back (no I wouldn't trade him back for Medders). Bring on the Bummers.
13(6) Tiggers - A wonderful reminder that a bunch of tools cant get the job done unless they have a skilled hand controlling them. I have the feeling that if Wallace was a tradie and you asked him to build you a shed you'd get the dodgiest looking birdcage you ever saw.
14(13) Synnie - There is plenty to like about Sydney. But all of it involves the city and none of it the team that plays there. Roos is already thinking about retirement in LA and BBBHall is preparing for his bout with John Hopoate on some Jeff Fenech fight card.
15(15) The Laughing Stock That Is... - You just run out of words eventually. I feel like I'm letting both of you guys who read this down. I sat, I watched, I laughed, I didn't believe a DAM thing. Right now, thats all I've got.
16(16) Melbunnies - There are worse things in life than playing for Melbourne. Like watching them.