It was pointed out to me on the weekend that whilst I was non-blogging our team went undefeated.  In  addition, since the start of the season, whilst I have been blurting the blog, we have been un-undefeated.

In these tougher trots all aspects of the club should be assessed and evaluated.  As such, I am perpared to be part of this important reivew.  To that end, if Richmond manufacture a win this weekend, I will cease with these rankings as it will be clear they are hurting our performances.

Maybe this will cause some confliting emotions in some of you (ie quietly hoping for a Tigers win) but I feel it important to do what I can to help this club achieve greatness.  I cannot slip to 0 from 7 and be 3 from 3 in my absence without taking the signs.

So, for perhaps the last time, here we go again...

1(1)  Saints.  Not firing on all cylinders but doing what they need to do.  Down periods are going to happen, especially when your team is only used to winning streaks of 3 or 4 games.  Saints supporters will hope they don't have another lull during the finals.

2(2)  Cats.  The biggest problem they have is not Chapman being out, or Floppy's inner ponce.  It is the absence of Brad Ottens and how effective he will be on his return.  I'm yet to be convinced that Blake is a number 3 ruck let alone a #1.

3(3) Lions.  Sherman is making the step up to the next level from what ever level you thought he was on before now.  Good also to see Simon Black having a real influence on a game again.  Whoever called the press conference to denounce Akers joking should be hauled in and fired immediately.

4(4)   Essendon.  To all those worried about Rhys Palmer's future in relation to his foot skills, I give you Jobe Watson.  He's slower of body and mind than Rhys, he's not as good in close, nor is he as courageous and he's missing the mongrel that Rhys gives us.  So, yeah, shut up.

5(5)  Bullies.  Sometimes coaches really should call players out, that was a 10cm putt for a win that Johnson missed and it would've been refreshing to hear a coach say "Yeah he screwed us on that didn't he.  I mean that was really terrible, he lost us the game".  What harm would it really do?

6(7) Hawks.  As average as they've been, players like Sewell, Mitchell and even Franklin are beginning to produce consistently good footy again.  I don't think any team fears them yet, but noone is sure they want to play them when it matters either.

7(10)  Swans.  I do enjoy a good Port pantsing.  Its hard not to like Sydney.  They make the Dirty Birds their beyatches.  O'Loughlin, O'Keefe, Kirke, Jolly, McVeigh, Bolton and most of the others all play a good brand of footy without being in any way offensive.  Even their coach seems to come from the upper levels in terms of personality and footy smarts.

8(6)  Boozers.  I don't subscribe to the fact that this team is "in trouble".  I never thought they were any good to begin with.  What has been hammered home is that Brett Ratten  is the only coach that gives Lil John a run for the money in a "drunk monkey could do better" contest.

9(12)  Kangas.  They beat a decent team after giving them a handy start.  I can tell you another thing I am sure of.  When the only thing you have left in the bag as a coach is yelling to a bunch of men like a deranged and abusive father, your time is clearly coming to an end.

10(13)  Pies.  Its not often the opposition lets your only 3 good players run around as nude as the day they were born. Credit to them for making the most of another teams utter stupidity.  The only downside was the increased liklihood of MM sticking around.  Hopefully when they play teams that, you know, pay attention and stuff, they will be dealt further blows.

11(8)  Freo.  Suffering an inevitable hiccup but there is nothing seriously wrong unless we lose this week.  Hayden out is a massive blow.  I say to the coaches at Freo - FREE MIKE PEARCE!!!

12(9)  Powerless.  They are a hard team to like.  They let the Dirty Birds pants them.  Cornes, Brogan, Cornes, Pearce, Ebert, Cornes, Cornes, Surjan, Motlop and Cornes all play a very average brand of football in the most offensive manner possible.  Even their coach is on the lowest rung of any ladder measuring positive human traits and has a head you'd love to hit with the backside of a shovel.  On top of all that they are the worst performing top 8 side in history.  So yeah, I rate them.

13(14)  Crows. No team is more likely to keep an opponent to zero goals in a half.  I hate their style of play, I give it no credit nor should it receive any plaudits anywhere, but it is, at times, effective.

14(11)  Melbourne.  A great segment in On The Couch this week showed Coach Bailey explaining to Gerard Healey how he thought Hawthorn went about things in the centre square.  He outlined what they did and then explained how they'd go about trying to stop it.  He got it spot on and his players (senior ones too) let him down.  It must be hard at times.  Even more reason not to let utter morons who may be premiership captains from tainted years anywhere near the caper.  If smart dudes can't always get it right, what hope does a horses ass have?

We now get to the part of the rankings that should not even really exist.  To even rank these 2 teams in an obscure and poorly written blog read by about 50 people provides them with a presence they do not deserve, nor are they likely too by the end of the year.  We have reached The Scumbuggery Zone.

15(16)  Tiggers.  When the only good news is that your Captain and Coach shook hands after said Captain asked said Coach to **** off you are in real trouble.  Wallace is exactly like that 50yr old Uncle that hardly anyone knows who always turns up to family functions and spends too much time trying to talk to the 20yr old nieces.  He's entirely creepy, desperately out of his depth and its only a matter of time before someone with some balls finally asks him to go away.

16(15)  Back Where You Belong.  We can now officially label Daniel Kerr as both over rated and a pretender.  He is the not so rare breed of player who needs others much more than they need him. He is the creation of a now extinct support structure that made him appear much, MUCH better than he actually was.

Its also about time that Dean Cox took some heat for being far too like Jim Stynes and nowhere near enough like any other truly great ruckman.  As Sheehan also pointed out on OTC, his effort against Anthony in the goal square sniffed of weakness and timidity that is the hallmark of this current team.  It can't be easily dismissed as a rare occurrence.  This guy has all the physical presence of a Meercat in the Lions den.  Only Leigh Colbert spends as much time as close to the boundary line as Cox does.

Finally, I want to add my small and insignificant  voice to all those calling for Lil John Washedup to be re-signed as soon as possible. 

We need more of the Foul allowing top midfielders from the opposition to run around unchecked all game. 

We need more of Peter Sumich staring at the scoreboard, dribbling on his clipboard and wetting his pants when clearance after clearance causes goal after goal.  

We need more of Spider Selwood as the primary creative force in the middle.

We need more of Lynch in the guts, in fact on the field.

We need more players looking Lil John in the eye and saying "I'm up to it Woossa"

We need much more of a entire stadium sighing and moaning like a teenager being forced to watch home movies.

Above all, we need more of the type of ineptitude that would make the American mortgage/car industries blush with shame all wrapped up in a package of blank stares, empty rhetoric and spineless management.

Without these things and without Lil Johnny, that list may go some place.