Hello again and apologies for the time off. We've had some ugly scenes to deal with which unfortunately meant I couldn't make time to log on and gob off. If you'll allow me I'll expand on that at the end of the rankings for those interested, especially anyone who remembers Flipper.
So, in my absence you've put together quite the little footy team haven't you Mr Harvey. I feel like a parent who's left the kids at home for a few weeks and come back to find the house in better condition than I left it. Somewhat surprised and totally delighted.
Obviously its freaking fabulous to be winning but to have the main drivers of those wins being a collection of kids and some of the more senior guys finding another level is even more inspiring. Had we been winning with Pav kicking bags of 7-9 and Sandi killing everyone it would've seemed less sustainable.
I've finished watching our 3 wins now (thank you IQ) and the names like Mundy, Duffield, Dodd, Peake, Thornton and especially Haze have been the names that stood out for me. This to me has been as pleasing as watching Hill and & Suban emerge as top shelf talent.
Anyway, I obviously won't bother going back to week 3, we'll pick things up in the here and now and start from scratch...
1. StKilda. False dawn or no, the start to the season that this mob have made is very impressive. Only the staunchest anti-Ainters would deny them their spot atop the list. Only the most biased Saints member would have no doubts about their ability to sustain it for the year. Can't wait for Rd 14.
2. Geelong. To be going along as handily as they are without a ruckman and without Floppy McDiver is testament to the talent and coaching at the club. Anyone who plays the fantasy footy games is well aware of just how scary the point scoring band of runners at Geelong is. Losing Giblett but still having Bartell, Corey, Selwood, Chapman & Johnson to throw around is almost unfair.
3. Essendon. Dear Mrs Matthew Knights, I may have been too harsh on you in the past, I stress MAY. However, I am embiggened enough to admit when I may be wrong. When that happens I will contact you again. Until then, keep up the surprisingly good work. Sincerely, Dolphin. PS - don't think this means I won't be totally and unfairly all over you again as soon as your performances regress to the mean.
4. Brisbane. They have benefitted from a pretty friendly draw so far but they're also going well enough to think they may be for real. Not a flag chance but definitely a final 8 contender.
5. Fremantle. Perhaps a bit low for some tastes as we have the longest current winning streak (outside the top 2 undefeated teams of course). However, we did only beat the Eagles in 1 of those wins so I think this is fair. Winnable games to come so 14th could become 6th in as much time as it takes Magic Hill to goosify a would be tackler.
6. Bulldogs. A thumping win in Adelaide deserves some respect. Especially since we all know that Cranky Craig would've had half the grandstand in the backline for most of the 2nd half. That win shows how important Gilbee and Murphy are to them. Conney helps too of course but Gilbee & Murph were wither out of form or on the sidelines when they were struggling.
7. Port. "But we're 4-3 and sitting 4th on the ladder" they scream through broken teeth. "Well you've lost to North and the Eagles, you're as consistent as McBurney's umpiring and as reliable as a tissue paper condom" I write back in crayon to help them understand.
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It is worth pausing here and noting that from here on in, ANY team could have been ranked in ANY position (barring the bottom 3). It is a remarkably close season at this point in time.
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8. Collingwood. See what I mean? Injuries and playing some other decent teams in coming weeks will likely spell the end of Coach Spitty and President Poncey at years end. What a joyous day that will be.
9. Carlton. "They Know We're Coming"...has a team been more divergent from their marketting material since "Strength On & Off The Field" made us puke a couple of years ago? I said early on that I had my doubts because they still seemed to be a decent midfield, a world class clown up front and nothing els. It is on these rare occasions of rightidity that I like to say I told you so.
10. Sydney. Have come up against 2 of the 3 form teams in the comp, away from home, in the last 3 weeks. They get a week off this week though and still show enough to make them a tough game every week.
11. North. After beating powerhouses Richmond &Port in recent weeks James Brayshaw has been licking his own anus in delight at how smart and tough he is. Its a shame that only 34 people give a flying flurk what happens to them now, and that includes players and administrators. I'm tipping them to finish 14th this year.
12. Hawks. Struggling. Fat. Injured. Slow. Leaky. Sooky. And they worry the bejeebus out of me tonight. I think they're setting themselves to start their season tonight. It feels like this is an "enough is enough" game for them and we'll have to be right on the ball early and late to get the win. Should be a good game.
13. Adelaide. I heard Craig say in a conference this week that he was prepared to see some mistakes from his players as he had instructed them to play risky football. Does anyone else get the feeling that, to Neil Craig, risky is leaving the milk of out of the fridge for 3mins before drinking it? I can't wait to see how this translates to the footy field. "Instead of4 spare men in defence we'll go with only 3 and have an extra tagger instead...look out we're working without nets now boys!!!"
14. Melbourne. Signs of overdue life from the yardstick for everything sucky. Cale seems to be the Morton that can play which is nice for them. Davey looks OK through the middle and that JWatt kiddy will take off his training wheels soon which will also give them a fillip. If only they hadn't giften the golden knobs 5 goals last weekend they'd be 1 game outside the 8.
15. Richmond. Its rarely nice to see someone publicly garrotted for their ineptitude or stupidity. Well once it was nice, and now twice. Now the guy who gave us the 1st dose of "sucked in idiot" can help his lame duck coach through the process. Suffer in ya jocks you cynical, opportunistic backstabbing waste of tanning cream.
16. Finals Fleagles. Their aim is to play finals this year. My aim is to shag Salma Hayek and Halle Berry on the same night. I'm a middle aged white dude with a 1-pack stomach, living in another country and packing completely average sized donger. Who's closer to the goal we set, me or Lil John? Tough call I reckon.
On a final note I had the distinctly undesirable task of watching my niece (Flippers daughter ) go through any parent's worst nightmare over the last few weeks. The poor kid had a horrible accident whislt on holiday. We chooffed off to help her Mum after being told she was probably not going to make it. During our weeks at the hospital we saw too many doses of horrific tragedy as some parents were told they had lost their child.
Nothing; I mean nothing can prepare you for the sight of people who completely and immediately lose the will to live themselves as they confront the reality of a life without their baby. The pity you feel for them is matched only by the guilt you feel for being glad it's not the child that you're watching over that sent the Nurses and Doctors scurrying around in the hours before.
Thankfully Flipette will be OK and her mother will not have to go through the unimaginable pain of losing her child after losing her Husband not long ago. My own joy when she was cleared was something so powerful I can't begin to describe it.
I mention this story for 2 reasons. Firstly, I found out one of the nurses is both a Dockers supporter in enemy territory and a sporadic visitor to this site. I wanted to pay tribute to her and her team and to ALL Nurses in ALL situations for the amazing work you do.
Doctors have a tough job and I don't mean to diminish what they do, but its the Nurses who spend most time dealing with people like Mrs Flip & me who just want some information or some comfort as well as providing excellent care to the patients they are healing.
I tried to tell you guys when we left what I thought and couldn't find the words. You people do Gods work. We could thank you a million times a day and it wouldn't be enough. I remain forever in awe of you.
Finally, I know people on this site have kids, as do I. Others will have nieces, nephews and young cousins. Spare no effort in enjoying moments with your kids. Love them in shamelessly large doses. For those without kids, don't wait for your own, spoil a friends kid.
My god what a gift they are.