Thank you Collingwood Football Club.

 

I've been luckily enough invited via work to most of the Magpies v Bombers ANZAC Day corporate events over the last few years, the first being when Medders was playing for Collingwood.

 

I say 'lucky' because the Magpies really do put on a spread. This is a club which we of course all know is extremely well organised, but love 'em or hate 'em, until you experience just what a monster of a domestic sporting organisation they truly are, it's hard to fathom.

 

Seriously guys, the spread alone they bung on for game days is like a Packer wedding. You have buckleys chance finding chicken salt on the day, but you get the feeling if you asked, Buckley would pop out and get it for you.

 

They make the FDFC and Subiaco facility look positively amateurish. And that makes me mad.

 

Which is handy, as for various reasons, I am currently mad at the present Fremantle administrative junta and had decided a little while back to let my membership lapse.

 

Then the the lads made the GF, which I like to think was always going to happen due in some small part perhaps to bad karma I probably deserved.

 

So as a result, of course, in the all important financially-driven opinion of the FDFC and more largely the AFL, I am no longer worthy to participate in the people's game this Saturday.

 

Cue Collingwood:

 

This mob, due to letting me in and trying the steak over the last few years, have my email address and mobile number.

 

"Hi Svenny, this is Ryan from the Collingwood Commercial Sales Team." 

 

"Look I'll be honest, normally they'd all be snapped up by now, but we've got a couple of seats ready for you at the Granny, which are a bit exxy, but I'll cut you a deal because we really did think this year it was going to be an all-Victorain affair, and we've got more left than we thought."

 

"Also we really don't like Hawthorn and want as many of you noisy purple weirdos to stick it to them."

 

So there you go. Not only do they know how to organise a decent spread and floorshow and manage a database which includes non-Magpie fans, they also don't go all, "we're supporting a Victorian team, bucko."

Eagles fans, pay attention: it's tribal, you morons. Get off our blandwagon.